Well, i had a bad day up until 2:30 and then it got REALLY good.
But, I probably should use up your precious time talking about nothing that really has anything to do with you. Or should I? Talk about useful wasting of time. LOL!
WELL, We went to Fonders to get milk, and then we stayed longer and talked with NORMAl balanced kids around my age, a year younger a couple years younger and then the two youngest girls watched toby for a while...which was a greatly needed reprive. But of course you don't even need to be told, the two I was with most were the two boys.....lol. You know me!
Anywhooooo, So well first we tossed a tennis ball around....then....here comes the good part, are you on the edge of your seat? Well. It does get better so you should hang on for dear life. Now, I'm not sure what your thinking but I'm thinking something amazing.
.....
...
I finaly got to work today, i helped them clean out mangers! I am so happy about it. Pretty dreary to you but fascinating to me and I have missed working on a farm so much so this awesome. Sorry to lead you on but I was having so much fun.
Si thats it for my amazing day and i know it doesn't sound all that amazing but you kinda gotta be in my shoes to understand.
Here's the joke.
I am starting an 'Out of the mouth's of Babes' Marathon, prepare to laugh hard.
Ketchup
A mother was struggling to get the ketchup out of the bottle when the phone rang. She asked her four year old daughter to answer it. She heard her daughter say, "Mommy can't come to the phone. She's hitting the bottle."
Gotta love kids.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Friday, November 13, 2009
Here I am again....
Who here has had a bad day? I have, I think the worst day of my life was this year. I can't think of the best day of my life, I think it is yet to come when my dad dies...or if...idk. But what brought this on was the most hysterical joke I have read in a long time. I am going to put it on here and I am not responsible for any....umm....anything that might happen during this soon to be laughing fit.
The Following was seen in a Florida newspaper:
A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio and his wife was in the house in the kitchen.
The man was racing the engine on the motorcycle and somehow, the motorcycle slipped into gear. The man, still holding the handlebars, was dragged through glass patio doors and with the motorcycle, was dumped onto the floor inside the house.
The wife, hearing the crash, ran into the dining room, and found her husband lying on the floor, cut and bleeding, the motorcycle laying next to him and the patio door shattered.
The wife ran to the phone and summoned an ambulance.
Because they lived on a fairly large hill, the wife went down the several flights of long steps, to the street to direct the paramedics to her husband.
After the ambulance arrived and transported the husband to the hospital, the wife uprights the motorcycle and pushes it outside.
Seeing that gas had spilled on the floor, the wife obtained some paper towels, blotted up the gasoline, and threw the towels in the toilet.
The husband was treated at the hospital and was released to come home.
After arriving home, he looked at the shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He became despondent, went in to the bathroom, and smoked a cigarette. After finishing the cigarette, He flipped it between his legs into the toilet bowl while still seated.
The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her husband screaming. She ran into the bathroom and found her husband lying on the floor. His trousers had been blown away and he was suffering burns on his butt and the backs of his legs. The wife ran to a phone and called for an ambulance.
The same ambulance crew were dispatched and the wife met them at the street.
The paramedics loaded the husband on the stretcher and began carrying him to the street. While they were going down to the street accompanied by the wife, one of the paramedics asked the wife how the husband had burned hinself. She told them, and the paramedics started laughing so hard, one of them tipped the stretcher and dumped the husband out.
He fell down the remaining steps and broke his arm.
This story redefines what it is to have a bad day.
FOMCLMBO!!!!!!!!
I was laughing so hard when i first read this....i feel bad for the poor guy but, that is SUCH a bad day you have to laugh.
The Following was seen in a Florida newspaper:
A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio and his wife was in the house in the kitchen.
The man was racing the engine on the motorcycle and somehow, the motorcycle slipped into gear. The man, still holding the handlebars, was dragged through glass patio doors and with the motorcycle, was dumped onto the floor inside the house.
The wife, hearing the crash, ran into the dining room, and found her husband lying on the floor, cut and bleeding, the motorcycle laying next to him and the patio door shattered.
The wife ran to the phone and summoned an ambulance.
Because they lived on a fairly large hill, the wife went down the several flights of long steps, to the street to direct the paramedics to her husband.
After the ambulance arrived and transported the husband to the hospital, the wife uprights the motorcycle and pushes it outside.
Seeing that gas had spilled on the floor, the wife obtained some paper towels, blotted up the gasoline, and threw the towels in the toilet.
The husband was treated at the hospital and was released to come home.
After arriving home, he looked at the shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He became despondent, went in to the bathroom, and smoked a cigarette. After finishing the cigarette, He flipped it between his legs into the toilet bowl while still seated.
The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her husband screaming. She ran into the bathroom and found her husband lying on the floor. His trousers had been blown away and he was suffering burns on his butt and the backs of his legs. The wife ran to a phone and called for an ambulance.
The same ambulance crew were dispatched and the wife met them at the street.
The paramedics loaded the husband on the stretcher and began carrying him to the street. While they were going down to the street accompanied by the wife, one of the paramedics asked the wife how the husband had burned hinself. She told them, and the paramedics started laughing so hard, one of them tipped the stretcher and dumped the husband out.
He fell down the remaining steps and broke his arm.
This story redefines what it is to have a bad day.
FOMCLMBO!!!!!!!!
I was laughing so hard when i first read this....i feel bad for the poor guy but, that is SUCH a bad day you have to laugh.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
WHOAH, long time no post.
Hellooo everyone!
Today is about America. I have three words to say; God Help Us.
Fox news needs to shut their traps before they scare everybody into a hole!
"You have to stand for something otherwise you'll fall for anything."
That saying makes a lot of sense, but, you can stand for something and still fall for anything. If you are a person who likes drama and would rather hear all the bad about a person instead of weighing what you hear and making your own choice, you will fall for every hoax and lie out there. You need a balance. I have a balance. I listen to people, and then decide if its something I am willing to believe or not.
I loved it when Obama's speech came out. OH BOY, i was laughing so hard at some people, and shaking my head at others. That was no brainwashing speech, that was an encouraging speech. JEEZ, some people are SO blind and deaf, i can explain that speech, you know, what the heck was a president supposed to say to a bunch of kids, "Hey kid, go play video games instead of doing your homework!" HES NOT GOING TO SAY THAT! So instead, he says keep up good work, this country needs you, we need educated people. America needs you. Stay in school, don't focus on your failures, focus on doing better next time.
Boy, that sure is a brainwashing speech, hes telling your kids to stay in school, to do good. And the right wing maniacs go ballistic because they can't have people seeing what a good thing that it so they go and put the little seed of fear into people hearts by saying hes brainwashing your kids. I mean, HOW DUMB DO THEY THINK I AM??????????? People have made the huge mistake of thinking I'm dumb, and they got BURNT. So, if you try to tell me that Obama is a Gay, Terroristic satanist, I'm going to have to bust a gut. Because my friends, I am not your average dummy, I may have blond moments, I may not be great at math, but I am not stupid.
The Government is pretty smart. They know we aren't paying a whole lot of attention to the war. They know we aren't thinking about it in detail. What we have here is another Viet-Nam. People say that the only reason we lost Viet-Nam was because of politics. The whole Viet-Nam war was about politics. So here we are fighting against better prepared people that know that mountains and were getting bombed left and right. We need to get WAY smarter, we need to lay roadside bombs, we need to get a map of the mountain and work on it, we need to FIGHT! Were like sitting ducks!
Can you tell I'm mad?
WELL I AM VERY MAD. This dad-gum Government it wasting our money!!!!!!!!!!!!
well ill try to find a joke.
Forest Gump and St.Peter
When Forest Gump died, he stood in front of St.Peter at the Pearly Gates. St.Peter said "Welcome, Forest. We've heard a lot about you." He continued, "Unfortunately, It's getting pretty crowded up here and we find that we have to give an intrance examination before we let them in."
"Okay," Said Forest. "I hope it's not too hard. I've already been through a test. My Momma used to say 'Life is like a final exam, it's hard.' "
"Yes, Forest, I know. But this tes is only three questions. Here they are."
1) Which two days of the week begin with the letter 'T'?
2) How many seconds are in a year?
3) What is God's first name?
"Well, sir," Said Forest, "The first one is easy. Which two days of the week begin with the letter 'T'? Today and Tomorrow."
St. Peter looked supprised and said "Well, that wasn't the answer I was looking for, but you have a point. I give you credit for that answer.
"The next question," Said Forest, "How many seconds are in a year? Twelve."
"Twelve?" Said St.Peter, supprised and confussed.
"Yes, sir. January 2nd, Febuary 2nd, March 2nd....."
St.Peter interupted him. "I see what you mean. I'll have to give you credit for that one, too."
"And the last question," said Forest, "What is God's first name? It's Andy."
"Andy?" Said St.Peter, in shock. How did you come up with 'Andy'?"
"I learned it in Church. We used to sing about it. Forest broke into song, "Andy walks with me, Andy talks wiht me, Andy tells me I am His own."
St.Peter opened the gate to Forest and said, "Run, Forest, Run!"
LOL
Today is about America. I have three words to say; God Help Us.
Fox news needs to shut their traps before they scare everybody into a hole!
"You have to stand for something otherwise you'll fall for anything."
That saying makes a lot of sense, but, you can stand for something and still fall for anything. If you are a person who likes drama and would rather hear all the bad about a person instead of weighing what you hear and making your own choice, you will fall for every hoax and lie out there. You need a balance. I have a balance. I listen to people, and then decide if its something I am willing to believe or not.
I loved it when Obama's speech came out. OH BOY, i was laughing so hard at some people, and shaking my head at others. That was no brainwashing speech, that was an encouraging speech. JEEZ, some people are SO blind and deaf, i can explain that speech, you know, what the heck was a president supposed to say to a bunch of kids, "Hey kid, go play video games instead of doing your homework!" HES NOT GOING TO SAY THAT! So instead, he says keep up good work, this country needs you, we need educated people. America needs you. Stay in school, don't focus on your failures, focus on doing better next time.
Boy, that sure is a brainwashing speech, hes telling your kids to stay in school, to do good. And the right wing maniacs go ballistic because they can't have people seeing what a good thing that it so they go and put the little seed of fear into people hearts by saying hes brainwashing your kids. I mean, HOW DUMB DO THEY THINK I AM??????????? People have made the huge mistake of thinking I'm dumb, and they got BURNT. So, if you try to tell me that Obama is a Gay, Terroristic satanist, I'm going to have to bust a gut. Because my friends, I am not your average dummy, I may have blond moments, I may not be great at math, but I am not stupid.
The Government is pretty smart. They know we aren't paying a whole lot of attention to the war. They know we aren't thinking about it in detail. What we have here is another Viet-Nam. People say that the only reason we lost Viet-Nam was because of politics. The whole Viet-Nam war was about politics. So here we are fighting against better prepared people that know that mountains and were getting bombed left and right. We need to get WAY smarter, we need to lay roadside bombs, we need to get a map of the mountain and work on it, we need to FIGHT! Were like sitting ducks!
Can you tell I'm mad?
WELL I AM VERY MAD. This dad-gum Government it wasting our money!!!!!!!!!!!!
well ill try to find a joke.
Forest Gump and St.Peter
When Forest Gump died, he stood in front of St.Peter at the Pearly Gates. St.Peter said "Welcome, Forest. We've heard a lot about you." He continued, "Unfortunately, It's getting pretty crowded up here and we find that we have to give an intrance examination before we let them in."
"Okay," Said Forest. "I hope it's not too hard. I've already been through a test. My Momma used to say 'Life is like a final exam, it's hard.' "
"Yes, Forest, I know. But this tes is only three questions. Here they are."
1) Which two days of the week begin with the letter 'T'?
2) How many seconds are in a year?
3) What is God's first name?
"Well, sir," Said Forest, "The first one is easy. Which two days of the week begin with the letter 'T'? Today and Tomorrow."
St. Peter looked supprised and said "Well, that wasn't the answer I was looking for, but you have a point. I give you credit for that answer.
"The next question," Said Forest, "How many seconds are in a year? Twelve."
"Twelve?" Said St.Peter, supprised and confussed.
"Yes, sir. January 2nd, Febuary 2nd, March 2nd....."
St.Peter interupted him. "I see what you mean. I'll have to give you credit for that one, too."
"And the last question," said Forest, "What is God's first name? It's Andy."
"Andy?" Said St.Peter, in shock. How did you come up with 'Andy'?"
"I learned it in Church. We used to sing about it. Forest broke into song, "Andy walks with me, Andy talks wiht me, Andy tells me I am His own."
St.Peter opened the gate to Forest and said, "Run, Forest, Run!"
LOL
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Work over-load...
I say over-load because I had been working on school since before ten this moring and then i babysat from 12-5, I am tired...believe it or not. I was so exhausted today, when i was babaysitting, like the jokes I'm going to out up, it all had to do with 'murphy's law' I was tired so then the house had to be so nice and quiet and comfortable, of course it was only quiet at the end when I had managed to get them calmed down and in a nice inside voice. It was cloudy today so then the house was kinda on the dim lighting, the kind where it is SO easy to fall asleep in.
ANYWHOOOO.......my weekend went AWESOME!!! I...I....I mean....uhh....I mean, I had absolutely NO fun WHAT SO EVER...yeah...thats what I meant.
I had absouteky no fun seeing Lynette and NO fun hanging with Kelly. So summing it up i had a pretty sucky weekend.
Can anyone hear the sarcasm in my vioce?
If you can't, your DEAF!
Take everything I said and turn it around.
I am so bored right now, well sorta, I am listening to 'With Six You Get Egg-Roll', it is HYSTERICAL! You have GOT to check it out. It is.....really, really, REALLY funny. Well I'm going to sign off with some great stuff.
~CC~
Law of Mechanical RepairAfter your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch and/or you'll have to pee.
Law of the WorkshopAny tool, when dropped, will roll or slide to the least accessible corner.
Law of probabilityThe probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of the AlibiIf you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
Law of VariationIf you change traffic lanes or lines at the store, the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
Law of the ResultWhen you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
Law of LockersIf there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Logical ArgumentAnything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.(My brother-in-law has proved this many times.)
Wilson's LawAs soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
Law of the TelephoneWhen you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
Law of Hot CoffeeAs soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, you will be inspired (by youself or, more likely, your boss) to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Law of Window CleaningIt's on the other side.
Law of Fixing or ReplacementIf it jams...force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
Theorem of Making Things FitIf it doesn't fit, use a hammer.If it still doesn't fit, use a sledge hammer.
The Dimensions DilemnaDimensions will always be expressed in the least useable terms. For example, velocity will be expressed in furlongs/fortnight.
Law of Universal FitInterchangeable parts won't (or don't?).
Law of Anxious UnpackingThe assembly and operation manual will be discarded with the packing material. The garbage truck will have it picked up five minutes before the mad dash to the rubbish can.
Axiom: The Carpenter's Rule "Measure Twice, Cut Once" Doesn't Apply to ElectriciansAny wire cut to the exact measured length will be too short.
God in action. Do not believe in miracles -- rely on them.
The Axiom of Near vs Far: Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch to be sure.
TTYL
ANYWHOOOO.......my weekend went AWESOME!!! I...I....I mean....uhh....I mean, I had absolutely NO fun WHAT SO EVER...yeah...thats what I meant.
I had absouteky no fun seeing Lynette and NO fun hanging with Kelly. So summing it up i had a pretty sucky weekend.
Can anyone hear the sarcasm in my vioce?
If you can't, your DEAF!
Take everything I said and turn it around.
I am so bored right now, well sorta, I am listening to 'With Six You Get Egg-Roll', it is HYSTERICAL! You have GOT to check it out. It is.....really, really, REALLY funny. Well I'm going to sign off with some great stuff.
~CC~
Law of Mechanical RepairAfter your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch and/or you'll have to pee.
Law of the WorkshopAny tool, when dropped, will roll or slide to the least accessible corner.
Law of probabilityThe probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of the AlibiIf you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
Law of VariationIf you change traffic lanes or lines at the store, the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
Law of the ResultWhen you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
Law of LockersIf there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Logical ArgumentAnything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.(My brother-in-law has proved this many times.)
Wilson's LawAs soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
Law of the TelephoneWhen you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
Law of Hot CoffeeAs soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, you will be inspired (by youself or, more likely, your boss) to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Law of Window CleaningIt's on the other side.
Law of Fixing or ReplacementIf it jams...force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
Theorem of Making Things FitIf it doesn't fit, use a hammer.If it still doesn't fit, use a sledge hammer.
The Dimensions DilemnaDimensions will always be expressed in the least useable terms. For example, velocity will be expressed in furlongs/fortnight.
Law of Universal FitInterchangeable parts won't (or don't?).
Law of Anxious UnpackingThe assembly and operation manual will be discarded with the packing material. The garbage truck will have it picked up five minutes before the mad dash to the rubbish can.
Axiom: The Carpenter's Rule "Measure Twice, Cut Once" Doesn't Apply to ElectriciansAny wire cut to the exact measured length will be too short.
God in action. Do not believe in miracles -- rely on them.
The Axiom of Near vs Far: Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch to be sure.
TTYL
Friday, October 30, 2009
Ahhhhhhhhh......sweet freedom...
Why do I title this 'Sweet freedom'? WELL, because freedom is sweet and if it weren't for our Soldiers and Police Officers, we would be.....not free.
So today since I have nothing to important to write about I am going to ramble on and on, eventually maybe, if I'm lucky, I just might end up with a tribute to our Soldiers and Police Officers, remember, IF I'm that lucky, LOL.
We are so lucky. We have great and brave people out on the street for us. We have people who willingly work the streets for us so we can go home safely for the most part.
We have Soldiers who fight for our freedom, through RPG's, land mines, snipers, sand storms, and horrible heat. Soldiers who are going up against other soldiers who know that land, know the mountains and know how to use it to their best advantage. They see things just about everyday that are so horrible we can't even imagine. I read a story one time about a guy in Viet-Nam who saw a guy burst into flames from Na-palm (or however you spell it). They see their buddy's get shot down, or blown up. These pretty faces in America who are turned into icon's or 'Hero's', they don't do anything for us really they give us entertainment or maybe hope, but they will die someday, their face will probably go up on some sorta of wall or into the hall of fame. But these Soldiers who die fighting for us, and our freedom, they don't get as much plublicity as Angelina Jolie who had an affair with Brad Pitt and adopts kids and makes movies. How worthwhile is that??? Adopting kids isn't a bad thing, its a great thing, but compared to what our Soldiers are doing on the other side of the world, I would praise those Soldiers fifty times more. I love my freedom, and I love my friends and family. Just think about those Soldiers who get sent off to boot camp, and then off to a war that they probably don't even agree with, but they go because they have something to fight for.
Well, I have been rambling on for long enough, I will sign off with a joke.
OVER AND OUT! ~CC~
A preacher was completing a temperance sermon; with great expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."
With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I would take it and throw it into the river."
And then finally, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world I'd take it and throw it into the river."
He sat down.
The song leader then stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, "For our closing song let us sing Hymn # 365: "Shall We Gather at the River."
OMG WOW, I was laughing SO HARD!!
So today since I have nothing to important to write about I am going to ramble on and on, eventually maybe, if I'm lucky, I just might end up with a tribute to our Soldiers and Police Officers, remember, IF I'm that lucky, LOL.
We are so lucky. We have great and brave people out on the street for us. We have people who willingly work the streets for us so we can go home safely for the most part.
We have Soldiers who fight for our freedom, through RPG's, land mines, snipers, sand storms, and horrible heat. Soldiers who are going up against other soldiers who know that land, know the mountains and know how to use it to their best advantage. They see things just about everyday that are so horrible we can't even imagine. I read a story one time about a guy in Viet-Nam who saw a guy burst into flames from Na-palm (or however you spell it). They see their buddy's get shot down, or blown up. These pretty faces in America who are turned into icon's or 'Hero's', they don't do anything for us really they give us entertainment or maybe hope, but they will die someday, their face will probably go up on some sorta of wall or into the hall of fame. But these Soldiers who die fighting for us, and our freedom, they don't get as much plublicity as Angelina Jolie who had an affair with Brad Pitt and adopts kids and makes movies. How worthwhile is that??? Adopting kids isn't a bad thing, its a great thing, but compared to what our Soldiers are doing on the other side of the world, I would praise those Soldiers fifty times more. I love my freedom, and I love my friends and family. Just think about those Soldiers who get sent off to boot camp, and then off to a war that they probably don't even agree with, but they go because they have something to fight for.
Well, I have been rambling on for long enough, I will sign off with a joke.
OVER AND OUT! ~CC~
A preacher was completing a temperance sermon; with great expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."
With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I would take it and throw it into the river."
And then finally, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world I'd take it and throw it into the river."
He sat down.
The song leader then stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, "For our closing song let us sing Hymn # 365: "Shall We Gather at the River."
OMG WOW, I was laughing SO HARD!!
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Monday, October 19, 2009
Less is sometimes more....
I love that. But when parent's use that phrase its usually against what you want. Well I was thinking yesterday.....weird right? ANYWAY, I was thinking of how us kids might be able to use that phrase to our own liking. And I came up with a BRILLIANT one. 'Less is More', so I guess less school work is more....right? And the reverse of that one is 'More is Less' so then that also can be interpreted into school. More school work is less learning....get it? I love it. If only parent's would agree with us.
Today is Monday so therefore I 'get' to work. Notice my choice of words? Well Saturday i was NOT looking forward to working, I was sulking because I hated working by myself having to listen to the most ridiculous conversations I have EVER heard. So Momma Told me something Opa used to say. "Smile and make people wonder what you up to." So every time I wasn't liking what I was doing, I just smiled. AND IT WORKED...well on my part anyway, I'm not sure if it made people wonder what I was up to, but I sure felt better. I looked at things more humorously, like one of the guys hadn't heard a custome right and so when they figured out what she was asking, they kinda laughed it off a bit, but I was trying to exercise my self-control a bit because it was SO funny. I think it was a 'You had to be there' kind of things.
Know what I like about these jokes I put up? I odn't expect you to really know, it was more of a retorical question. I LOVE those! What I like about them is that......I don't know, The Carstianity was a bit confusing in one place, but if you don't redognize the cars it's pobably more confusing. But then Seventeenth Chapter was just all out HYSTERICAL. And that preacher one....I wasn't expecting that ending but I thought it was pretty good. Today I am going to try my best to get a SUPER SUPER hysterical one on here. I don't know what I'll come up with but I can try can't I?
Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:
1. Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
2. Announcement in a church bulletin for a national PRAYER & FASTING Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
3. The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water."The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
4. Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall - Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
5. Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.
6. The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict.
7. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
8. Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
9. Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
10. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
11. Next Thursday there will be try outs for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
12. Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
13. The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: " Break Forth Into Joy."
14. Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
15. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
16. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
17. Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
18. Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
19. Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
20. Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.
LOL!!!!!!!!
~GEM~
Today is Monday so therefore I 'get' to work. Notice my choice of words? Well Saturday i was NOT looking forward to working, I was sulking because I hated working by myself having to listen to the most ridiculous conversations I have EVER heard. So Momma Told me something Opa used to say. "Smile and make people wonder what you up to." So every time I wasn't liking what I was doing, I just smiled. AND IT WORKED...well on my part anyway, I'm not sure if it made people wonder what I was up to, but I sure felt better. I looked at things more humorously, like one of the guys hadn't heard a custome right and so when they figured out what she was asking, they kinda laughed it off a bit, but I was trying to exercise my self-control a bit because it was SO funny. I think it was a 'You had to be there' kind of things.
Know what I like about these jokes I put up? I odn't expect you to really know, it was more of a retorical question. I LOVE those! What I like about them is that......I don't know, The Carstianity was a bit confusing in one place, but if you don't redognize the cars it's pobably more confusing. But then Seventeenth Chapter was just all out HYSTERICAL. And that preacher one....I wasn't expecting that ending but I thought it was pretty good. Today I am going to try my best to get a SUPER SUPER hysterical one on here. I don't know what I'll come up with but I can try can't I?
Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:
1. Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
2. Announcement in a church bulletin for a national PRAYER & FASTING Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
3. The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water."The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
4. Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall - Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
5. Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.
6. The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict.
7. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
8. Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
9. Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
10. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
11. Next Thursday there will be try outs for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
12. Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
13. The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: " Break Forth Into Joy."
14. Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
15. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
16. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
17. Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
18. Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
19. Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
20. Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.
LOL!!!!!!!!
~GEM~
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